The Lessons They Never Teach You

So I am sitting here thinking about my first blog post for Ruby Monday. Should I talk about code? Should I talk about testing? Should I talk about using has_many through relationships? You can learn that from documentation or a book. I decided to talk about how to deal with your doubts and fear.

Where can I find that answer on stack overflow? Never found the right question on there, didn’t find the right answer either.

Did a google search but it leads me to books and lessons that want to charge me more hundreds to thousands of dollars to make me a better me. Some of it looks like good content, but when you see some of the pricing, hiring a psychiatrist is probably cheaper.

I know about imposter syndrome, seems like a common problem. The solution isn’t not so much.

When I got involved with Ruby Monday, I was quite scared. Am I good enough? These people are going find out I am an idiot. Why do I need to interact with people? Can’t you just assign me a task so I can quietly fail where nobody can see me as the loser I know myself to be.

So here I am exposed, worried about damaging my psyche. And this is where I learned a very important lesson in my life.

Courage isn’t taught, courage is gained by doing regardless of the consequences. If don’t do anything you will be stuck on stuck. I do not know about you, but I hate being stuck.

Imposter syndrome is the just another way of being stuck.

Am I am good enough? Stuck on doubt.

What if these people think I am stupid? Stuck on fear.

What if I don’t know how to solve this coding error? Stuck on fear.



Stuck just sucks!

How do I get unstuck?

By interacting with my peers and doing the stuff that makes me doubtful and afraid, I learned how to get unstuck.

Better yet if you are surrounded by the right people, they will help you go past your fears.

I gained a lot of confidence. Confidence in my ability to code, confidence in my ability to help others. Confidence in interacting with people. So confident that I decided to take additional risks.

What if these people added to my fears, acted like I was stupid? Acted like I didn’t belong.

By doing this in the first place, I accepted the idea that I would find the right group that would put me in a position to get unstuck. And that is what you, have to accept also. Maybe its not you but the peers you are surrounded by.

As a result of doing this, I started a youtube channel doing rails testing tutorials. I am volunteering at GirlDevelopIt Los Angeles. At the end of the month I am giving my first speech at a developer meetup . And of course I am doing this blog post.

Maybe I am not good enough? If you asked me before I started this project, I would have been scared to find out that answer. Now I am willing to accept my weaknesses and turned them into strengths.

So go out there and expose yourself. How else are you going to get unstuck if you never try to step out of stuck in the first place.

You can never find out how high your ceiling is, if you are always staying low to the ground.